On the heels of the government report on unidentified aerial phenomena (formerly unidentified flying objects), it appears that aliens have made off with the blue USPS collection box at the corner of Harris Ave and 12th Streets in Fairhaven. The site of the blue box that has been at this corner for decades, has been carefully been rearranged to give the impression that the mailbox was never there. A blue trash can was even placed on the spot to confuse those who think that their memory is playing tricks on them - that some blue container in which they deposited mail was, in fact, on the corner for quite a while. One might opine that placing mail in the blue trash can might result in a similar delivery time as that promised by the Post Office. This also may be a stealth move to transfer mail delivery functions to our local Sanitary Service Company, which deals to a great extent in junk mail to begin with.
[Note: All jesting aside aside, I appreciate and support the service of each and every mail carrier. They do yeoman's work yet they have suffered terribly at the hands of an inept, vicious and totally uncaring Postmaster General for some years now. My hat is off to them. Fire Postmaster General Louis (Baffle Faced) DeJoy NOW!]