The Way I See It – The Return of the Grail: Seek Truth. Speak It.

The unfolding story through time and space in France

The unfolding story through time and space in France

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June 2, Bellingham

Some friends and I had a conversation the other day. Like many other people, writers, and commentators we know, we bemoaned the state of world affairs, local politics and the seeming inability of mankind to end its murderous insanity. Not surprisingly, these lamentations relate directly to my pilgrimage over the last two weeks to the Languedoc region of southern France. I had chosen to travel with a group, mostly women, who were seeking spiritual connection and healing through hoped-for messages, insight and wisdom from Mary Magdalene. The Holy Grail I sought was a deeper personal understanding of how I can have a more fulfilling life and maybe help reduce some of mankind’s insanity.

In our conversation, one of my friends asked “What did you learn in France that you couldn’t have learned here?” Although I’ve read historical accounts of the crusade against the Cathars, touching and immersing myself in the landscape, historical sites and today’s everyday life of the people of the area brought home how oppressive and evil were the vicars of Rome and their client kings. And that oppression went far beyond extermination of a people and their belief system.  That oppression was directed toward eradicating or enslaving the feminine nature of mankind altogether. There is also ample evidence, to my mind, that the oppression of the feminine continues today in our western societies as well. But despite a long systematic oppression, there seems to be a sense of veneration and celebration of the sacred feminine in Languedoc. I saw this in the celebration of the Black Madonna in the seacoast village of Saintes Maries de la Mer. And I saw it in the human activity and seeking around a number of sacred sites and shrines dispersed across Languedoc. The land and sea of this region is both fertile and bountiful. Perhaps it is less surprising then that the goddess side of divinity is worshipped here. 

Another lesson came from the group I was with. Comprised of 9 women and myself, the group’s behavior differed significantly from my lifetime experience in how activities are organized and differences/conflicts are resolved. There was also quite a difference in the nature of ceremonies and celebrations compared to those I have participated in throughout my corporate and private life. What occurred to me was that my fellow travelers had already found the wisdom they were seeking. They had already embodied that wisdom…it was internalized in each and it was revealed when they worked on a plan or problem together. Frankly, my linear, project-based thinking was challenged by their approach.   But, when in Languedoc, go with the flow. What I noticed most was how quickly problems were resolved without hard feelings. Forgiveness flowed easily and often. Were there differences in vision, preferences, needs and desires within this group? Certainly, and quite often, but “dominance” and “power” were not the key behaviors, “consideration” and “acceptance” were. 
I believe we are more than mere automatons, freaks of a materialistic cosmos. If we are only that, then discussions about truth and behavior are meaningless. If, as I believe, we are inspirations of the Divine, then why do we always seem to be in such raging messes? The former scientist in me wants a rational, safe universe, but the reality is quite the opposite. Part of the answer may be seen in the Magdalene journey. To me, the Grail has been with us right along. It is the feminine aspect of humankind, or wo-mankind if you will. Our masculine and feminine natures are different. They are also complementary and need each other for humankind to be creative and evolve. But our societies have been way out of balance for a very long time. That’s like running a car on half its cylinders. The adage about insanity being defined as “doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results” may apply here. “Man”kind has been, and continues even now, to run with half its brain and half its consciousness. 
It is not surprising the same problems re-occur. If we are to really become the “hot ticket” species that we think we are, we have to get this creativity thing flowing better, or we truly won’t survive, let alone prosper. Funny thing about creativity, it has a hitch. We can’t give the job of creating to someone or something else. We each have to step up to being creative. Creativity won’t happen unless each of us takes action. When applied to problems in our society, our personal lives,or politics, that means each one of us has to seek answers. We each are responsible for searching for the truth. Any artist will tell you that being creative also means we have to get that creative something down on canvas, or play the notes or write the book or letter to the editor. In short, we have to speak about the truths we have sought in a way that works for us. And as for resolving our insanity, until we recognize and eliminate the suppression of the feminine, we will continue that murderous behavior.

May 28, Capestang

This is the last day in the south of France.  We've had a hectic couple of days with last minute additions to our itinerary.  On top of that, a 24-hour bug came for a call further disrupting our plans.  Every traveler should remember that plans are only approximations of what actually happens.  They are usually created in a state of euphoria and extreme optimism.  Reality loves to play games with plans.  It can sometimes get to the level of the forces of light versus the dark forces.  What we found was the delightful experience of unexpected events.  In the last two days, we "accidently" met up with a book author who has been a source of much of the material we have been exploring on this trip.  The "coincidence" required that we be at a the small hilltop village in the Pyrennes on a particular day within a small window of time. 

So now it is time to head for the train station.  The TGV takes only 4 hours to get from the Med to Paris and the flight home.  Back in Bellingham Sunday.

May 24, Saintes Maries de la Mer

This photo shouldn't have happened.  It resulted despite fighting ridiculous traffic jams on one of France's more popular holidays going to one of France's more popular seaside resorts.  There appeared to be 10 zillion people in this small fishing village and resort.  All of them wanting to witness the annual parade of the Black Madonna through the town square.  

The Black Madonna is Sainte Sarah, reported daughter of Mary Magdalene, and she is very, very, venerated in this region of France.  The picture also happened because I took several “wrong” turns that resulted in my popping into the press corps and local dignitary area of the procession by “accident.”  Not one to look the proverbial gift horse in the mouth, I found myself roughly 15 feet from the church door used for the Madonna’s appearance.  I had no press badge, but went unquestioned by the local crowd managers anyway.  I thought if need be I could claim I was from a Paris daily, or perhaps they knew I was from the Northwest Citizen. At least that’s what I told myself to explain my acceptability.  

I did have to wait two hours and I had at least one conversation in my very poor French, but I didn’t want to be noticed too much, so I just hovered around the likely path, looking “press-like.”  The final appearance of the Madonna caused a dual wave of French humanity.  One wave came from her selected route.  People were pushed back from the procession exiting the church.  The other wave came from the crowd behind me, pressing to get closer.  

The resulting outcome is a rare photo for me, being in the right place at the right time.

May 22, Sainte-Baume Grotto

On your knees!” That could well be the name of a game played between kings and the Catholic Church during the late 1st and early 2nd millenniums. The monarch playing the game had to “walk” on his or her knees up a long, steep and painfully rocky path to a religious shrine. In exchange for this act of submission, the monarch was granted the church’s imprimatur to hold power, dodge ex-communication or otherwise stay out of trouble. There were certainly other political and economic factors in play around holding kingly power, but it is the visual image of “knee-ambulation” that I relate to most. 

Sainte-Baume Grotto is one of those places that has a very long, very steep, sharp-pebbly, knee destroying path. By managing to navigate it myself (on my feet), I felt I at least deserved a minor title for my success. The Grotto is noted as the cave where Mary Magdalene spent the last 30 years of her life in seclusion, nurtured and sustained only by angels. The Grotto is located high up a sheer limestone massif near Marseille, France. The area is awesomely beautiful. It is also noted for being harshly frigid in winter. The first monastery was established in 415 AD, and with the possible exception of the period during and immediately after the French Revolution, it has been maintained as a holy shrine worthy of the only female disciple. 

As I struggled up the mile-long path, I began to lose sight of the mystery and majesty of the surrounding rocks and forest. In short, I noticed a developing whine in my psyche. It sounded like a bad valve in an otherwise finely tuned motor. It took me a few steps to realize how many people, who are in far worse shape than I, would give anything to make this trip of faith and spirit. I encouraged that whiny part of myself to shut up, nicely of course. I then enjoyed the rest of my walk up the mountain, appreciating the glorious day.

May 20, Montsegur Castle

Four thousand feet up in the Pyrenees Mountains of France is Montsegur Castle. It was the last refuge and stronghold of the Cathar Church and lords dispossessed by Pope Innocent III and the King of France in the 13th century. The Albigensian Crusade was the campaign by the Pope and King to eradicate Cathar “heresy” and gain economic hegemony over the Cathar region.  It started in 1208 with the massacre of all 20,000 inhabitants of Beziers, including Catholics and Cathars alike.  The crusade essentially ended with the fall of Montsegur in 1244. 
The castle is protected by sheer cliff faces and rocky outcrops that appear navigable only by mountain goats. At least that’s the impression I had after a 45 minute, half-mile, knee popping, heart pounding climb of my own. The castle was impregnable to 13th century armaments. Its ultimate surrender came after 10 months of siege by the armies of the King of France, hardship and certain lack of reinforcements and supplies. 
One story places Montsegur as the last known sanctuary for the Holy Grail. It was said to have been spirited away just before the fall of the castle. Another part of the story claims the Grail was not the physical cup from the Last Supper, but sacred teachings and mysteries of the Cathar religion. In any case, there doesn’t appear to be sufficient evidence to prove either story. 
The climb is well worth the effort. Every breeze and view at the top seems to carry the presence of those long-ago inhabitants and defenders. It is easy to imagine their voices, footsteps, and the sounds of that final battle.

May 18, On the road from Montpellier to Lourdes

I am now convinced that the French have a serious disorder in their transportation psyche.  The limited access divided highways that are equivalent to our interstate highways have some of the best technology I've experienced, anywhere.  This includes well engineered on/off ramps, road signs and even pavement striping that informs the driver about safe following distances. By contrast, I-5 in Bellingham might be considered a poorly designed and maintained secondary road.  However, there sanity ends and France's road psychosis begins.  Maximum speed limits are 81 mph for cars and 56 mph for trucks.  All the trucks we encountered seem to really adhere to the limit.  The bulk of the cars are definitely going faster than 80.  That speed difference leads to some charming passing and tailgating behavior.  The French driver clearly feels a sense of rebellion and liberation when on the highway. 

Unlike the major highways, the streets in cities and towns were designed and built before the wheel was invented, probably by very small people who couldn't flnd flat paving stones.  I'm sure they used some animal that moves erratically, such as rabbits, to lay out the streets.  I can't imagine streets that are narrower, windier and more rife with parked vehicles and other obstacles.  Fuel is around $8 per gallon.  All of these factors add up to very small cars, that can go very fast on a small amount of fuel which operated by repressed drivers. 

One other thing.  The pedestrian is king.  If someone even looks like they might cross the street, drivers immediately come to an abrupt halt.  I'm not sure I trust the behavior to be to look both ways.

May 16, Leaving Chartres

(see photo at bottom of article)

The Chartres Cathedral and indeed the town itself are amazing places.  For me personally, the cathedral emanates an incredible energy.  I've had similar experiences at the Taj Mahal and Angkor Wat.  These are special places that transcend human imperfection and exalt the spirit.  That feeling is one I hope to have close to home in Bellingham, as I think about the positive things we can do and build in our own community. 

The insert in the photo of the cathedral is of one of the rosette windows.  That is the same window seen in the photo of the exterior.  Chartres Cathedral reportedly has the largest number of medieval (12th and 13th century) stained glass panels in the world.  While many other gothic cathedrals have perished, Chartres and its windows have remained mostly intact for 800 years, through religious purges, revolutions and two World Wars.  So no matter what your religious beliefs are, it is a very special place. 

As Dick Conoboy commented, dealing with the Paris "Retro" can be quite challenging.  We left Chartres at 6:30 this morning.  We had to return to Paris, arriving at one train station (Gare de Montparnasse) and depart from another (Gare de Lyon).  That in-between trip was by taxi rather than Metro and cost roughly $35 for 4 of us versus the Metro's $8.  But we avoided the agony of another baggage obstacle course and saved our bodies and minds in exchange.  The finishing touch was the high-speed train (TGV) ride to the south of France which took only 3.5 hours to cover. 


May 15, Chartres, France

With the volcanic activity and security events over the last few weeks, I would not have been surprised if our arrival in France had been delayed.  Quite the opposite happened in fact.  Traffic to Seattle was mastered by the HOV lane, airport security was efficient, polite and a breeze.  Yes, government bureaucracies can earn and deserve our praise! There were no delays in departure or arrival times and French immigration and customs were fast and hassle free.  The only complaint - you guessed it, airline food.  My recommendation - stock up on nuts and power bars.  Perhaps Costco could be convinced to open an airport discount snack food counter.  They could make a mint 😊

On the other hand what occured between the airport and our checkin at the hotel in Chartres was worthy of the Keystone Cops or the Gang That Couldn't Shoot Straight.  We chose to use trains and the famous Paris Metro to make the two-plus hour trip from Charles De Gaulle airport to Chartres.  We had previously experienced this kind of getting around town versus traveling on surface transportation such as cabs and busses.  The lesson from those trips is that trains and Metro are much preferred, time wise, ecology wise and cost wise.  The only problem is the lack of escalators in the Paris Metro.  There are lots of stairs and if you are dragging an excessive amount of roll-on baggage.....well, we looked like a bucket brigade hauling bags up and down seemingly endless sets of stairs.  Several of our friends traveling with us had forgotten the advice of limiting themselves to one small roll-on plus a backpack.  We also encountered a contraption that resembled a guillotine on its side.  These are automatic gates at Metro ticket control points.  Insert your ticket and, voila! the guillotine opens.  Your must dash through or you could be bisected.  Most of us are quick enough, except of course when pulling two roll-ons, carrying a backpack and a camera bag or a purse, and a coat.   Three local inhabitants of Paris blessedly looked the other way, but I swear I heard snickers in French.  (Snickers are good for air travel as well.) In ancient times, pilgrims often encountered travails and tests including having to approach their destination on their knees.  That sounds easier than hauling luggage through the Metro.

Today is about visiting the Chartres Cathdral.  To me, it is a must-see if you ever get to France.

May 12.  Bellingham, WA.

With rare exception my non-business travels have been about experiencing new people and places combined with a bit of adventure and relaxation.  One exception was a trip to Cambodia in 2006 to dedicate a school.  That school, The Bellingham Community School, was constructed in a rural village with the help of many individuals, organizations and businesses here in Bellingham.  On that unique trip my wife and I were accompanied by a teacher, three students, and some friends, parents, and grandparents; some of the helpful many.  It was physically and emotionally challenging, it was not about relaxing.  It was very fulfilling, however, and  a remarkable learning adventure for all of us. 

Another exception is at hand this week.  This time the journey is to France.  It is part vacation and part pilgrimage.  The itinerary is heavily concentrated in the Languedoc region of southern France, the former home of the Cathars and Knights Templar.  There are a dozen of us on this journey.  We are starting at Chartres Cathedral outside Paris this weekend.  From there we travel to the little village of Capestang in Languedoc.  Like many of the region’s towns, it is relatively young.  That just means a “new” house was constructed sometime before the Big Bang.  The region is filled with historic towns and castles, many dating to pre-Roman times.  The area is also noted for important sacred sites and festivals, a number related to Mary Magdalene, who exiled and taught there after the Crucifixion.   There is both an outer and an inner nature about this trip.  I will try to bring a bit of both to this blog over the coming days in place of my regular column.  I hope this way you will enjoy the trip a bit yourself. 

About Ham Hayes

Closed Account • Member since Jan 11, 2008

Ham moved to Bellingham in 1999 and wrote for NW Citizen from 2007 to 2011. He died in October 2022.

Comments by Readers

Dick Conoboy

May 16, 2010


Had I known you were about to take the metro and train from the airport to Chartres, I would have spent some time with you last Monday at Diamond Jim’s to warn you of the very poor mobility options within the Paris subway.  I have 40 years of experience with the Metro to include the era of wooden subway cars and the long gone “poinconeuses”, the ladies (only) who used to punch a hole in your ticket as you entered the subway station.  Bonne route!


Dick Conoboy

May 18, 2010

Ah, the TGV!  A blessing and a curse.  I used to enjoy the long, leisurely train rides throughout Europe.  One could stand in the aisle of the car and watch the scenery.  Now with the high speed trains, the countryside flies by so rapidly that if one tries to focus on anything that is closer that one kilometer, one ends up with vertigo.  On the other hand, avoiding the hassle of Orly or Charles De Gaulle airport is worth the time one saves between Paris and Marseille.  No pat downs (yet), no baggage searches (yet), no restrictions on liquids (yet) no fog/volcano delays (yet) and no outlandish prices (yet).


Dick Conoboy

May 19, 2010

I can tell you that in the past 40 years there has been a wholesale improvement in the safety on the French autoroutes.  The radar controlled cameras have cut speeding dramatically.  This has had an unbelievable effect on the highway death toll.  It went from over 8,000 in 2001 to just over 4,000 in 2009.  1986 saw about 10,000 killed.  Still dangerous are the National and Departmental roads with 2-4 lanes and few barriers between the opposing traffic lines.  The Departmental roads are also often lined with large trees which give a particularly quaint and sought-after photo op but prove deadly when a car leaves the roadway.  Ham is correct.  The trucks truly behave nowadays, staying in the right lane like a line of kindergartners.  I believe that this is also a large contributing factor in highway safety.

As for our I-5, at least the French have learned the art of the merge onto the high speed roadways unlike their counterparts in Washington State.  Here the traffic on the ramp gives little heed to the YIELD signs and charges into the priority traffic with an inexplicable sense of entitlement.  Worse yet, drivers on the highway perversely slow down to let these folks in, often to their own peril from drivers behind who have to brake suddenly.  Additionally some highway drivers who are moving slowly in the right lane (where they should be), move into the left lane abruptly at the approach of an entry ramp where they encounter left lane drivers moving at highway speeds causing severe breaking in the left hand lane.  This seems to be a Northwest phenomenon but I am willing to accept accounts of similar behavior elsewhere.

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