Rick Perry, Can We Talk?

Riley has a conversation with Rick Perry

Riley has a conversation with Rick Perry

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Hey Rick, pleased to meet you. I know you have your crew of campaign advisers, but I was wondering if we could talk for a moment. Look, things aren't looking great for you. Back when you first exploded onto the scene, you were the top dog: raised millions of dollars, a strong conservative alternative to wishy-washy Mitt Romney, and with enough campaign experience to avoid the crazy (looking at you, Michele Bachmann). But then there were more than a couple gaffes in the debates, and the whole Herman Cain thing. Wasn't that embarrassing?  The creepy pizza guy overtaking the governor of one of the largest states in the union? I can understand it has been a rough couple of cycles, but let me tell you the good news.

Hang in there buddy, I think you can pull this off, and there are lots of reasons why you should be the nominee this year. You just have to hold on.

How are you going to pull this off, you ask? First of all, look at the two people in front of you. First, there is Mitt Romney, who 70% of Republicans hate. He is stiff, flip-floppy, and utterly elitist. Last cycle, Mike Huckabee put together a great ad that described Mitt Romney as "the guy who looks like he just laid you off." It fits, doesn't it? Bad enough he has more houses than Cindy McCain, but then he doesn't help the situation by trying to bet you $10,000 like it is no big deal. The Republicans don't trust him and Obama's people can't wait to lay into him.

But what about the golden boy of the moment, Newt Gingrich? He's got high negatives and yet people still love him. Mitt Romney couldn't even lay a hand on him in the last debate. Yeah . . . but you have to remember, he is Newt Gingrich. He's got more ego than John Edwards and Alec Baldwin put together. The guy will implode. He always does. His political career reads like a Greek tragedy, every time he gets close to achieving greatness, hubris brings him down. Plus, he has no campaign team, very little cash in the bank, and has only opened a handful of campaign offices. He's got no structure, which means he won't survive long.

So that leaves you or Jon Huntsman as the remaining serious candidates. Jon is great, but he has no money in the bank. You can do this. Pour some resources into South Carolina (I assume you have Iowa well-doorbelled at this point) and then try to hang on through Super Tuesday. You can pull this off and take the lead. When Newt implodes, if you have a strong showing, you will scoop up his votes and support. This is your moment.

Why am I so convinced this year is yours? Because more than any other candidate out there, you represent the current state of the Republican electorate. In 2008, the Democrats chose a younger, ethnically diverse, urban candidate because that's where we are headed as a party. We are leaving behind the culture wars of the 60's and moving toward issues of equality, economic justice, and urban perspectives. For the last three years, the Republicans have been struggling within themselves to find a new way forward, and I believe that you, Rick Perry, represent the apex of that journey.

Remember, this is the Republican base that cheered when the moderator mentioned how many people the state of Texas had executed on your watch. These are the voters that boo-ed a soldier stationed in Iraq for mentioning the fact he is gay. These are the people who cheered when posed with the hypothetical about someone dying because they don't have health insurance. In the last couple of years, the Republican base has become more evangelical and less blue blood, more anti-intellectual and less pro-corporate, more fiscally conservative (to unpractical levels) and less forgiving. In short, they need a Christian crusader that is anti-elite, looks tough, and doesn't talk about details. In short, you.

Now I know there are some concerns that you are . . . well . . . not exactly intellectually curious. Remember, neither was the last governor of Texas we promoted to the presidency. It isn't really a problem. Just appoint some elder statesman (or woman) with some policy chops as your Vice-President. John Kyl is retiring from the Senate and would make a good choice. Or maybe some of the quality Republican women who are available (see my post about good Republican women candidates here). My point is, it is not as big a problem as the media would make it out to be.

So hang in there Rick, this is your moment. Just a few more grueling months and you can claim your title as nominee, and proceed to having your butt kicked by Barack Obama if the economy hasn't completely tanked again.

- Glad I could help,

Riley Sweeney

About Riley Sweeney

Citizen Journalist • Member since Aug 10, 2009

Riley Sweeney, raised in the Pacific Northwest, moved to Bellingham during the Bush years, worked on a cross-section of political campaigns during the Obama years, and then fled to the [...]

Comments by Readers

Tip Johnson

Dec 14, 2011

Whoa!  Are you kidding?  Brandishing a weapon in public?  At a public event?  Sounds illegal.  I wonder how far I’d get trying that in Bellingham?  Better make that “police to meet you” trigger happy bubba.

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Paul deArmond

Dec 16, 2011

It’s starting to look like the clown cars at the circus.  You know the little tiny car that drives up into the ring and then a continuous stream of clowns comes out.  Look!  It’s Newt AGAIN!

We should all be very grateful for Faux News keeping the delusional bully-worshipers sedated.  If they every figure out how they’ve been played for chumps, we’ll start wishing the US was as politically calm as Egypt or Syria.

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